Help me find some sweetness and light in this abyss of dread remembrances and horrors revived. I pray you. Find my hand and take it please. Lead me away from these terrors relived and torments resurrected. Hold me close and enfold me in tenderness. Protect me from them and keep me safe from myself.

But I pray also that you will not find me in the gloom.

For I will work your voice until it is broken and cracked in bidding you tell me again I love you. And my embrace will smother and suffocate you in its impossible quest to know comfort and ease. And I will weary your eyes with bitter tears shed for a heart lost which might never be found.

Heed not my cries for rescue from these hellfire flames.

Do not seek for me for I will break your heart in two and shatter the rest. For I carry a corruption within me which would infiltrate your heart and seep into your very soul. My touch is noxious and my caress poisonous. My kiss venomous and my lips infectious. My embrace virulent and my love malignant and deadly.

But I pray also please do not despair of hope for me.

For I would find that cleansing bright light of liberation. And I would shine its brilliance against those demons and devils and hounds of Hades which pursue and stalk me so relentlessly. I would turn them away and route their assault with the dazzling illumination of love.

And I.

I would shine that cleansing light also upon myself. Purge my heart of pain and purify my mind and soul of suffering. So I might embrace you restored to life once again and renewed.

And I would find my own way from this twilight of murky agony and bleak suffering. And make my way to you once again standing proud free and true. Not seeking for your hand to find mine and become thus in pain ensnared too.

But mine seeking yours and not in suffering and subjugation to agony. But in freedom and romance and love which shines radiant and true.

For if after all you would still have me as I am. I would surely make my way straight to you.

For I have found myself hopelessly lost in love with you.

 

Whippoorwill XO