My dearest darling baby, my little lost one gone.

I wish I could trade my life for yours. My essence. My spark. I wish your little heart might have kept beating, growing strong.

I wish you could have known your mothers love. I wish you could have felt it. She loves so wonderfully well. I wish you could have known what its like to be in her arms. To know her kiss on your cheek. To know her glow. To know her warmth.

I think of her cradling you, keeping you happy and safe. It is a sweet thought. It helps me find my smile through the tears. Through the loss. Through the grief.

I wish we could have shown you love. It is the most wondrous thing.

I wish you could have seen the world. It is beautiful. The sun shines so radiantly, it rises bright and sets again so beautifully. It is quite a thing to see. And the touch if its warmth. Oh my. Such a joyous thing.

I wish you could have known the gorgeous gay sound of rain falling gently. I wish you could have known the cool kiss of the wind upon your skin. The breath of the world whispering I love you. I wish you could have known the heartbeat of the earth.

I wonder if you would have been scared of thunder storms, or whether you would have loved the calamity and chaos like I do.

I wonder if you would have loved the moon even better than the sun, like me. Rising in the night so silvery and pregnant with the promise of mystery and romance. Of dreams come true.

I wonder if you would have loved the night better than the day. The darkness more than the light. The shadows. The shades.

I wish I could have sung songs for you. Held you in my arms all bundled up cozy and safe and sound in my love. I do, you know. I sing for you sometimes and hold you. Even though I know you not there.

I imagine. I make it real. And I sing.

Dagurin líður, náttin kemur
Dimmir á jørð so fríða
Í morgin saðlum hestar dyst at ríða

Would you like to know what the words mean? My dearest darling baby, my little lost one gone. Would you like me to teach you?

They mean.

The day passes, the night draws in
Darkness falls upon fair ground
Tomorrow we will saddle the horses and ride.

Isn’t that pretty? My dearest darling baby, my little lost one gone.

I sing those words just for you. Even though I know you’re not really here. I hold you in my arms and love you so.

Even though you’re gone.

Even though you never got to be.

 

Love always and forever after ever more

Whippoorwill

 

I carved the old words into a stone from a sacred place. And your other mother wrote words for you too. We bound the two together and gave you to the ocean as the sun sank in the west.

We both love you very much and miss you terribly. We hope your spirit is happy where we left you. Where people play. We will come and visit with you again soon.

You would have liked Yule. There are presents and surprises for the little ones.