Oh my goodness I love you. I love you ever so very much. I would do absolutely anything at all for you. Name it. Anything at all.

I would kill for you. All for you. Just tell me who. Would you like me to kill for you?

How would you like me to do it. Fast or slow? With a club? With a knife. A jolly good garroting. Shall I do it with a ladle or with a spoon.

I would you know? For real real realsies.

Anything for you.

Except.

That thing I do that annoys the piss out of you?

I would not stop doing that. Not even for you. No matter how often you ask nicely. No matter how often you explain concisely.

Because.

I.

Am an obstinate bitch.

Apparently.

Oh my goodness. Why? Why do I have to be such an obstinate bitch? I don’t mean to, really I don’t.

Is that why you love me my sweetheart? Because I’m an obstinate mental bitch? Is it because I would kill someone with a ladle for you?

Or have I said too much?

I have, haven’t I?

I’m going overboard again, aren’t I? Getting carried far too far and away. Maybe I should stop talking now.

Yeah. Probably stop talking now.

….

So….

Who would you like me to kill?